Opposites Attract, and Talk Smack

Well, I’ve been remiss about doing anything “creative” for a long time. After I’d already gotten lazy about blogging, I was on some anti-depressants for about 2 months. I think they work wonders for lots of people, and may yet for me in the future, but all they did for me was make me tired and make the back of my neck sweaty.  Well, that was mostly all they did, anyway. They acted like a “doubler” for partying, it seemed like, and they helped me slow down my drinking. I noticed some uplift in mood, but not enough to make me want to put up with sleeping all the time. I also truly think I’m just unhappy about a lot of stuff, not unreasonably despondent about life’s downs. And no generic Lexapro will fix the root cause of being unsatisfied with life’s progress.

I’ve also been too busy, doing stuff such as working on making a man-cave out of my storage-shed. I ran power to it earlier this summer, then shingled it, which it needed anyway, then insulated it, made a work bench, hung a bunch of stuff up, etc. I tell people I’m building the man-cave first, then going out to look for a woman to move in with me so that I have someone to escape from, to the man cave I already made for me. Or something like that. It’s small, but wide open in the middle, so if this mythical “she” likes The Who, we’ve got a built-in plywood dance floor. Which feels good on old feet.

Anyway, here’s something I wrote today, back in my corner at work at breaktime. Catholics, please excuse me for the first 4 lines. I was raised a Norwegian-American Lutheran, and now I’m a heathen, so I don’t go to confession, but the first 4 lines just popped into my head at work today, so I had to “write it out.” I thought it started out semi-inspired, but then, meh. I suppose even successful writers feel the need to “write it out.” It’s a sweet little poem about people on the opposite side of the political fence:

Opposites Attract

Father forgive me
For I have sinned
I fucked a Republican
And I’d do it again.
Her thighs were exquisite
They made up for her mind
She had a soul that was empty
And a cushy behind.

She lied, said I was “Yuge,”
I lied, said “I know”
But at the end she did shudder
From her head to her toes
I shuddered some too
Let out a deep wail
And not once did I think of
Kate Beckinsale.

Politically light years apart
But stuck in the middle
We played each other’s bodies
Like Alison Krauss plays her fiddle.

She said, “I don’t care, you “libtard,”
If you delete all your emails
I said, “Build your damn wall, a wall that won’t fail
Just don’t deny me access, to your glorious tail.”

We became Facebook friends
And insulted each other.
She said I was as dumb
As her meth-cooking brother.
I said “White trash like you
Make Republicans rich
But don’t hold that against me
If you develop an itch.”

We met at a motel after,
I called her my honey
She said for a Democrat
At least I was funny.
She said “your beliefs are dumb
And you ain’t got no money.
But get over here
And we’ll screw like two bunnies.”

It’s nice to look back on
What we had for a while
She was dumb as a post
But she sure made me smile
Fool enough to put nukes
In the hands of ‘Ol Trump
But I’ll grant her this one thing
That gal Sure. Could. Hump.

(Fuck it. “Publish.”)

This entry was posted in Humor, Poetry, Writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Opposites Attract, and Talk Smack

  1. You actually made me smile about all this mess. It’s been a bad summer for me. Fear of politicians and lack of sleep has me thinking of going back on the antidepressant that made me sleep, but not feel better, just took the edge off the suicide thoughts and made me indifferent about a lot of stuff. Doctors seem to like that.

    Anyway, I liked your poem and it made me smile. Thanks for that.

    • I’m glad I made you smile for a while, Re. It’s hard to, isn’t it? My own, not sure how to describe it–intermittent depression?–has made it hard for me to write. So much of life is a huge horror show lately and of course the glow of blogging has worn off. I’ve unfriended the most strident of Obama- and Hillary-haters wherever I can and unfollowed others. How anyone could not see that NO ONE is worse than Trump, or than Paul Ryan or Mike Pence for that matter, is beyond me.
      Anyway, I tried the generic for Lexapro for a while in the summer and fall, and hated the sweatiness and other odd little side effects, and then tried generic Prozac for a couple weeks in December and just said “screw the side effects” (I mean, hangovers make me feel like shit, but don’t give me headaches like Prozac did or make me sleep all the time like both did). So I’m off all them for now, and I did notice a change in some viewpoints when I was on them a bit, and, as dumb as this sounds, I feel sometimes that I can, sort of, “channel those changes I felt,” when I need to, and improve my mood a bit that way. It’s an imperfect way to deal with being blue, but it helps some. And I don’t want the blah-ness of the antidepressants, or, as you say, the indifference. I want to feel the fire, and feel like we all need to be a little mad right now.
      Plus, you know, I get used to the blue feelings and would feel like I was living a false life in a stranger’s body if I was happier. Also, my stupid joke, that I’ve made for years, that “Coffee is Prozac,” has at least some, everyday, temporary truth to it.
      Well, thanks again for reading and liking, and I know it’s hard to want to blog any more and the whole “circle of readers” that each blogger used to have a few years ago, that somewhat overlapped other circles of readers, and made us all excited to comment and read each others stuff, has mostly died off, and it’s hard to want to blog, or comment, or answer comments. I want to write some more things just to keep up my writing hobby but we will see how that goes, won’t we?
      Carry on, and I hope things get better for you.

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