The Best Pie in the World (For this week anyway)

There are two kinds of people in the world: People who love coconut, and people who belong in some sort of camp. Not a bad camp, mind you; we coconut-lovers are so happy, happy from enjoying eating anything with coconut in it, that we couldn’t possibly make your camp experience unpleasant, but that IS where you’d belong. Coconut-deniers.

My favorite candy bar is Almond Joy. My favorite “sweet-rolls” are coconut cream long johns. My little one’s favorite candy bar is Almond Joy. Her favorite pie is pumpkin. Mine is pumpkin or coconut cream.

It would be inaccurate to describe eating a piece of coconut cream pie as being similar to listening to angels sing. Eating a piece of coconut cream pie is more like: a) having a piece of coconut cream pie, then b) having sex with an entire band of singing angels, but (somehow magically) in some non-creepy, platonic way, that (again, somehow magically) was as satisfying as the real thing, then c) eating another piece of coconut cream pie.

Though I have actually followed a recipe and made a “from-scratch” coconut cream pie, complete with charred coconut, the easier recipe is as follows:

Simple Coconut Cream Pie

One package Jello coconut cream pudding mix
One package Jiffy pie crust mix
One tub Cool-Whip, thawed
One jug Ancient Age Kentucky Sour Mash Whiskey, chilled
5 tablespoons water
1 3/4 cups milk

Fork water into pie crust mix one tablespoon at a time, knead till larger than pie pan
Bake pie crust at required temp for about 13 minutes
Cool pie crust
Add pudding mix to milk; whisk angrily or joyously for 2 minutes
(Drink liberal amounts of sour mash whiskey at any time during process)
Pour pudding mix into pie crust
Chill on counter and in fridge for at least an hour
Add liberal amounts of Cool Whip and sour mash whiskey
Enjoy.

As usual, thanks for reading.

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5 Responses to The Best Pie in the World (For this week anyway)

  1. ksbeth says:

    now i know what i’m craving for breakfast –

  2. I’m a coconut lover (mind you I only say that to avoid the camp). Btw, how old is your little one these days? It seems like I’ve known you for ages – she must have got to be a teenager by now!

    • She is 11 now, is Minecraft-addicted, is still the shyest person I’ve ever met but plays now after school with a couple other girls. Their love for drawing My Little Pony characters brought them together. And yes, I think you were one of the earliest bloggers I “met”–I’ve been doing this blogging thing since fall of 2010. Still waiting to go viral, ha ha.

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