My Joke For Today at Work

Do you ever have some stupid joke that pops into your head in the morning, and you think it’s so great that you have to share it with everyone at work, everyone that you think will enjoy it?  Yes?  Oh, you pathetic little thing.  Just kidding.  This morning I had one pop into my head, and I just had to go around trying it on people.  By the way, it only works on us heterosexuals, because a gay man would, perhaps, just say “Well, of course,” or “Something like that, yeah,” and the joke would be ruined.  Not that there’d be anything wrong with that.

It went like this:  (I walk up to a male co-worker and say) “So, were you born gay, or were you standing in front of the mirror one morning when you were 12, combing your hair before school, and you just stopped and looked at yourself in the mirror, and said to yourself ‘You know what–I just really like penises!'”

Disclaimer:  No actual gay people were harmed in this blogpost, only the world of comedy was done irreparable harm.

Further disclaimer:  I claim to be heterosexual, but since I haven’t had relations for so long that involve having another person in the room with me, I guess it really doesn’t matter.  Maybe I’m into bestiality–who knows?  Hmmm….that would explain why bunny rabbits all run so fast when they see me coming.

Dumb bunnies.

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6 Responses to My Joke For Today at Work

  1. H.E. ELLIS says:

    I have many male gay friends who say the reality of their homosexuality hit them in a moment just like that. Your joke is funnier than you know!

    • You know, when he’s kidding his friends like that, a guy sometimes thinks about the fact that some men who are in relationships with women are secretly gay. Which brings a whole new light to some hunting or fishing trips. 2 weeks in a “deer camp” with an old friend who suddenly “came out” would be a bit awkward, wouldn’t it?

  2. idiotprufs says:

    Are the bunnies dumb, or do they just know something?

    • Well I hope they’re not like some of the farm animals in the story where some university researcher visits a farm, claiming to be able to talk to the animals. The farmer skeptically says, “Ooookayyyyy, go talk to them.” So the researcher talks to the cows, comes back and tells the farmer: “The cows tell me that sometimes you get drunk at night and don’t get out to milk them on time the next morning and their udders get really sore.” The farmer’s eyes get really big and he says, “I guess that’s true,” but he still doesn’t quite believe that the researcher can talk to the animals. The researcher goes and talks to the horses, comes back and tells the farmer: “The horses tell me that sometimes you ride ’em hard and put ’em up wet.” The farmer admits that he did that. The researcher says he is going to talk to more farm animals, so the farmer says okay. The researcher comes back and starts to say, “I just got done talking to the sheep, and they say..,” and the farmer cuts him off, saying, “Sheep! Don’t believe those lying bastards!”

  3. Mmm…you know Aussies don’t have a sense of humour but..why’s this a joke and not a question? An amusing question but – ok ok I just don’t get it, I admit.

    • You’re right, Rose. It’s not so much a joke as it is a hopefully amusing question. Us guys, some of us, to poke fun at each other, will do things like, upon seeing a pair of really flamboyant shoes on another (as far as we know non-gay) guy, say to that friend or co-worker: “Oh, I didn’t know we had a “gay-shoe” store in this town. This is in that vein, and it’s all in the delivery and doesn’t translate real well to print, because one has to say “You know, I REALLY like penises” with a somewhat surprised, yet proud and assured conviction, like someone might say to themselves: “You know, I REALLY like that Adele”. The “joke”, really, is in accusing another guy of being gay, which to our macho sensibilities is just a friendly insult from another guy. Obviously not an insult to a gay guy, who should be proud of who he is, like we all should be. It’s a wordier form of a guy asking his buddy “When did you first realize you were gay?” If it’s a friend asking a friend that, then the correct answer is probably “Fuck you–I hate you,” then the friends buy each other drinks and talk about hunting or American football to prove their macho-ness.
      And I don’t believe for a minute that Aussies have no sense of humor. Excuse me, I mean sense of humour. 😉

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