It’s been 32 days since I’ve “blogged” and you may wish it was 532 days when you get to the end.
Did you know that in the famous “Hindenburg Disaster” of 1937 there was a big cover-up? Yeah, seems like they were actually transporting top secret experimental marine mammals in a secret compartment of the doomed airship. The Nazis were going to use the marine mammals, ala homing pigeons, to help guide their U-boat torpedoes to their targets of American merchant and military ships. Turns out the marine mammals were really good at telling the difference between ordinary freight and the types of freight which would help England in the upcoming war. Well, somehow the U.S. intelligence community found this out, and also found out that all the scientists working on this project were on the airship also, secretly hiding with the marine mammals. They (the bad guys) were going to travel secretly to Florida to finish training the marine mammals in a secret Nazi lair hidden deep in the Everglades, then equip them (the aquatic mammals) with gadgets to help control them, for use in the war. The news reporter who describes for posterity the flaming disaster was actually a spy himself who had infiltrated the program in Germany and gotten to know the marine mammals well. He named one of his favorite ones after a disgraced but funny uncle on his mom’s side. Part of his very-emotional description of the crash was altered later to cover up the whole affair, and so that no one would know that dozens of innocent lives were sacrificed in order to destroy this dangerous Nazi program, as explosives that were hidden in the Hindenburg were set off during the landing attempt in New Jersey.
What the reporter was really saying, what he was really lamenting in his sobbing description, was not originally “Oh, the humanity.” That was just an accident that his words were so easily cut and taped into that famous phrase. What Herbert Morrison, of WLS radio of Chicago (and secretly of the FBI), really said that day was a sad goodbye to his aquatic friend; what he cried out was, “Oh, Hugh the Manatee!!”
I warned you that you’d be sorry, but you read it anyway, didn’t you? Thanks.