Wouldn’t it seem obvious that, in the last 15 years or so, someone, somewhere, would have mentioned, “Hey, Kevin, did you know that there was a 700 pound Hawaiian guy who sang like an angel?” Why didn’t I know about him when he was alive? I guess I was married when he did this song, and when he died, and I suppose I was so busy dropping rose petals in front of my wife, declaring my undying love for her, that nothing could draw my attention away from the honeymoon-al bliss. You know, like all marriages are?
There’s almost something about this song that, if there is such a thing, is generically beautiful. Maybe that’s why I missed it. I’d heard bits and pieces of this version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” before, but never really realized who it was till I stumbled upon it while stalking the Tube late one night. Yeah, apparently none of the 92 million visits to this YT video were by people I know, because I am 100 percent certain that I would have asked a friend/co-worker, “Hey did you know there was a 700 pound Hawaiian guy who sang like a fucking entire band of angels?” Judging by the voice, the looks on his face, the smiles of everyone around him, and what was said about him, apparently about 700 pounds of him was heart: