If, like me, you are almost as insulted by those motherfucking squiggly red lines under your words as you would be by someone saying bad things about your child, you may have also been dismayed by the recent situation of wordpress spell-checking you, doubting everything from the beginnings of contractions to even the word “wordpress”, probably my last name also if I used it here. For me (after a wee bit of googling), it seems to be the result of one of those seemingly neverending Windows updates (“Do not turn off or unplug your computer during this process or all future generations of your poorly-spelled clan will be cursed with club foot”). I was able to click on “tools”, then “manage add-ons” (I…didn’t…FUCKING…do…any…FUCKING…add-ons, you prick Bill FUCKING Gates and your minions, YOU did), then uncheck “spell-check”. Poof, no more squiggly fucking red fucking lines. I occasionally have trouble with spelling, but I spell better than about 90 percent of the world, and if I have a problem, it sticks out at me usually, and I double-check it. Hell I almost won an area spelling contest in middle school once, but I lost out to a girl with a last name of DeZeeuw! Well, nooooo shit. If she could spell her own name, she could spell anything, so that was an unfair advantage, I’d say. Bitch. I’d lose out in the Podunk semi-finals in the world of today’s spelling bees, I’m sure, especially if we had to use the word in a sentence. Um, NO, that’s YOUR job, teach.
Is it ironic, Alanis, or just dumber than fuck, that even the word “wordpress” gets a squiggly red line? I assumed it was wordpress suddenly doing things differently, but if I clicked on their ABC icon, then I got–yep–two squiggly red lines under “wordpress”. I suppose they use someone else’s word program or something. Don’t know, don’t care. It’s part of one of my pet peeves about computers. You can be as dumb as Patrick Seastar about the complex workings of the internal combustion engine, but if you get good training and have good hand-eye and foot-eye coordination (is that term allowable? Don’t know, don’t fucking care. I’m using it), you can drive like a champ. If you do it enough, you can “read” where people are going and drive around them with skill, without ever having to know how to change a gasket. But, for years, you had to know the inner workings of a computer, to think like that dipshit Bill Gates, as it were, to use a computer. It’s getting somewhat better these days, but you (if you’re no more skilled than I) still need to fumble around like a drunk in the fog to have things set up the way you want, to change things back to your simpler way of using your computer as a word processor or communication device (which is what I mostly use it for, along with it being my main information source, I suppose). Thank goodness that the 4th or 5th thing I clicked on in google under “getting rid of spell-check in internet explorer” gave me the right answer, or maybe I would have to rewrite my (entirely facetious) “Kidnapping Bill Gates” post. This search, of course, was after I searched for “getting rid of spell-check in wordpress”, and read something that led me to believe it was my (what the hell do you call it?-web browser, is that the right term?) Internet Explorer that was the root of the problem, not the poorly spelled WordPress. I don’t give a whit which system I use to go to Pepsi-Cola dot com, or EasternEuropeanHottiesWhoLookStoned dot com; the website is going to look the same when I get there, for the most part, right? I just want it to not be confusing, and I want it to have “Favorites” (so Firefox is out, unless there’s something I’m missing). And someday I fully intend to write about the greedy bastard Bill in a new “My Non-Unabomber Manifesto” post.
IF I ever feel like blogging, that is. Anything resembling effort is so beneath me these days.
Assuming that even I have better things to do than “blog” on Thursday, here’s my favorite 4th of July song, from Martina McBride, “Independence Day”. The official video is sad but great, but would be denied embedding here, most likely, so here’s a live version for now. Or look it up, even if you don’t much like country; it’s a well-crafted Gretchen Peters song.
“Some folks whispered, some folks talked, but everybody looked the other way”:
Update: After googling “embedding vevo videos” and actually going to vevo’s website, I’m now more confused than ever, but here goes, maybe, that official video: