Dentists, Birthdays, and Redheads

I’ve gone to the dentist a few times lately.  I have a mouth full of metal and composite and missing molars and a bridge and some old chipped fillings and one spot on the side where I need a 2nd bridge and a lot of empty holes in my wallet.  I floss my teeth most every night now and I figure it saves me about 2 dollars a day every time I floss.  No exaggeration there whatsoever.  After my latest teeth-cleaning a few weeks ago, I found out I had a couple cavities (the first in a couple years) plus they talked me into crowning an old chipped-up tooth that was almost all filling.  Okay, it’s gotta happen sometime.  So I went back a little later, and they filled the one cavity, prepped for the crown, and did an extraction.  They extracted 650 dollars of my tax refund from my checkbook.

I know dentists have a lot of expenses, and I like these people, but, you know, I wish they wouldn’t talk about remodeling their houses, remodeling their new office, or about how their child likes the food at the one overpriced “Applebee’s-type” restaurant over the food at another, when I can’t really afford to go out to eat, partially because I’m paying so damn much to keep my teeth in my mouth.  And isn’t that one of the everlasting “whines” about life, that it costs so much just to keep the rundown body, house, car, tv, computer, etc, that you thought you already had, going?  A friend of mine the other day posted pics of where a fucking rabbit had chomped through his spark plug wires.  How the HELL does a spark plug wire taste like a plant?

Back to the dentist–while we were waiting several minutes for the bottom part of my jaw to go numb for the next 4 hours, I asked the assistant if she had gone on any trips lately; she told me about a do-gooder trip she had made to Guatemala this winter, where she and several other healthcare professionals had done a bunch of dental and other work.  I jokingly mentioned that maybe I could go along once and build them some gas grills or something; she said they had a team of people building heating stoves for them, properly venting them out the roofs, because the people had been just letting their heat/cookstoves passively vent out of open doors, resulting in one hour of being in the house the equivalent of a couple years of smoking, or some such awful statistic.  I asked about living conditions for her while there, and communications to back here; she told me there was indoor plumbing but maybe she would’ve rather “gone” outdoors, but that there were cell towers everywhere and phones were cheap!  That blew my mind a little.  I imagine a couple teen girls text conversation:

A:  I think Juan likes you.

B:  OMG!  You’re mental.  Pedro likes me.  Juan likes you.

A:  BTW, my family didn’t have anything to eat last night.  Did you?

B:  Nada.

—-

I wonder, do other guys have the same thoughts that I do about redheads, that there are really only two kinds of them?  I feel like they’re either hotter than hell, or else they’re “scratchy down there”.  Well, they don’t tan well, you know, so…

—–

There’s been a lot of birthday greetings around the blogging world lately.  I’m happy for all of you, that you keep having them, but I don’t celebrate them myself, except for my daughter’s of course.  So I hope you had/have a good day on your birthday this year, as well as every other day.  When Cupid finds me some “stuff” (translation: a cheap one-night stand on my birthday or some longer-term thing with some woman) to spend my birthday with, then and only then will I celebrate, or give one royal fuck about ANY adult’s birthday.  Birthday parties are for kids.  Plus my parents had the audacity to screw in the spring so that all 3 of us kids were born in the shit-ass cold winter, and a pool party or picnic on your birthday is a lot more fucking fun than an indoor party when you’re a kid, or, when older, “I’d go to the bar and celebrate but the roads are closed and the wind chill is 30 motherfucking degrees below zero F outside.”  Kinda loses its charm.

———

I do that Trifecta writing contest once in a while, in streaks like everything else I do.  You don’t win anything except a mention for the first 3 places, but you get more people reading your stuff.  I finally placed:  a couple weeks ago, I came in second for my dialogue called “Christian Mingle”.  I’ve always been mystified why they need that when church is supposed to be a place to meet a “nice Christian girl”.   Yeah, it’s nice how their clothes fit some of those nice women.  Did I tell you this one before?  Probably, but I don’t fucking remember anything any more.  Once at a previous job, a fellow from Arkansas came in to the shop with a trailer to pick up his own sign we made, and save on shipping costs.  He was apparently religious as he had Jesus bumper stickers and a handpainted cross on his trailer.  We had a short, very curvy, very sensual young woman working there then, with a walk that many of us noticed.  Part of her duties was to take pictures of things such as new construction.  As she wiggled by us and out the loading door, to take some picture of something, he watched her come and watched her go, and in his soft Southern accent, turned and said “She could make me go BAD!”

I was going to write some stuff about books but we’re pushing a thousand words here, so good night.

It’s a long way to the weekend:

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Humor, Life, Music and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s