Random Thoughts Sept. 9, 2012

–Main observation from watching some “Resident Evil”:  I wouldn’t want Milla Jovovich to be mad at me, unless we had some “make-up zombie-killer sex”, which I would speculate would be fairly athletic.  And her cohort Ali Larter: do her friends call her “The Body”, I wonder?  Not to go all piggish and dirty-old-mannish on you, but that girl is well put together.  As they say, just sayin’.

–The commercials for–Enbrel, is it?–where the lunch truck guy has psoriasis, so that he has these red patches on his arm, which cause his young attractive female customer to pause, for a beat, as he hands her her food, would be a lot more effective if, after he’s “cured”, the same woman would take food from him, then grab his arm and start licking up and down it.  Then we’d know he was now truly accepted.  Maybe even have him then pull her up into the food truck, slam the window closed on the rest of the customers, and have them start “gettin’ busy” on the counter.

–Since I changed my internet connection from the phone company to satellite, the Google News feed doesn’t know where I am.  They used to feature Dakota stories along with the world news, but now they’ve got me all over the place, though it’s mostly Texas.  Sometimes specifically San Antone, then I lived (according to them) in Loozey-anna for awhile, Colorado Springs, Washington state, and lately, Fresno.  My home page travels way more than I do.

–I’m thinking of taking a cue from Tom Cruise and having the Church of Scientology audition some bitches for me.

–Also thinking of answering some of my junk e-mail, like this one:  “Hi, it gives me pleasurable creeps to see such a stag online.”  Just so’s we ain’t “lockin’ horns”, if you get my drift; I don’t swing that way.

–I know you’re dying to know this, but from my July of having free previews of the movie networks, and watching Bond movies every night, I now know this: In “You Only Live Twice” the guy played by Charles Gray (later the narrator in “Rocky Horror”) offers James Bond a martini that’s “stirred, not shaken”, which is opposite of every other movie, where it’s “shaken, not stirred” (to the best of my Bond-nerd knowledge).  Charles Gray played a good guy who got a knife in the back in that Bond, and played the bad guy Blofeld in “Diamonds Are Forever” (the one in which the ambiguously gay assassins blow up a helicopter, then walk off hand in hand saying “If God had intended man to fly, Mr. Wint”, “He would have given him wings, Mr. Kidd.”)   Oh, and Daniel Craig was good in “Dragon Tattoo”, but he SUUUUUCKS as Bond; every Bond before him had some humor in the role, but he’s just a dick.

–I am trailer trash through and through in my adult life; I grew up in a farmhouse and lived in a house or two, an apartment or two, but this is at least the 5th mobile home I’ve lived in, and the 2nd one I’ve owned.  This one has light-colored walls, not a hint of paneling anywhere, a peaked roof, (I suppose you’d call it a) “vault” ceiling in the dining/living area (the great room, I like to call it), decent insulation, 3 bedrooms and 2 baths, and a nice front and back yard.  But the first one I owned was a dungeon, with dark paneling, terrible lighting, frost on the hallway walls, a 7-foot high ceiling, a tin roof that rattled with the slightest breeze, etc.  But, for a time while I basically lived across town with an older woman, a truck-driving buddy of mine would use the place to entertain his future wife and have visitations with his daughter.  He had been in a band and had a couple speakers in there, each about the size of an average washing machine.  I’m sure the neighbors loved me, the neighbors that lived about 12 feet to either side of me, because we’d play the speakers to max volume when the Ancient Age started flowing.  Santana’s version of the Zombie’s song “She’s Not There” sounds great at ear-splitting, soul-shaking volume.  (Had a video of it here, but the video is no longer on YT.)

I always thought their drummer at the time, Michael Shrieve, was so fucking cool–he was 20 at Woodstock when he played his famous solo on “Soul Sacrifice”, and looked like he was either high or fucking his drum set or both:

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2 Responses to Random Thoughts Sept. 9, 2012

  1. Anna says:

    I had no idea you lived in a trailer, although your name should probably have given that away. I am completely and utterly jealous! If you find someone clinging to the underside and holding on for dear life, it’s probably me.

    Also the Zombies ftw!

    • It’s not really an RV-type trailer, of course. It’s “planted” for now, though in a half a workday, a couple guys could take the skirting off, put tires on the rims, weld a “tongue” on the one end, unhook the utilities, jack the thing off the ground, disconnect the little metal strips that tie it to the ground in most winds, and pull it across town and park it there for me for a thousand or so U. S. dollars (a lot more to go cross-country). I’d love to travel the country in a real RV. You’d have to brush aside all the bodies (of dates that went horribly wrong) underneath the trailer to cling underneath it. I kid, I kid.
      Zombies were awesome, though they only had 3 big hits, I think: “She’s Not There”, “Tell Her No”, and “Time of the Season”.

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