I Can’t Help It

Trifecta’s weekend Trifextra challenge wants 33 more words to follow the initial 33 words they are giving us.  Their 33 words are in italic; my 33 words are evil:

The last strains of sunlight lingered in the corners, grasping every available point of refraction.  She slid her fingertips along the glass wondering if this was all there ever was. Or could be.

Her fingertips brushing the pile of coke into a rough line, the little comic strip girl, all grown now, ignored the sunbeam she used to love.  Her next “date” knocked  on her door.


(with apologies to “Hi and Lois” and anyone who likes sweetness and sunbeams; I actually like the ones where the little toddler girl talks to the sunbeam, but I just can’t help myself)

This entry was posted in Fiction, Humor, Writing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to I Can’t Help It

  1. lumdog says:

    You managed, in very few words, to tell us a lot about the life of this girl, none of which is good. A unique take and very well written. Especially the sunbeam, now ignored in favor of grim pursuits.

  2. MOV says:

    nicely done. top 3 for sure.


  3. deanabo says:

    Great job telling the story!

  4. Gina says:

    Poor thing. Rough life is such an understatement. Definitely a good start to a great story.

  5. Amy Harrison says:

    This is an awesome piece 😀 Dark and depicting a grim life… love it 😀

  6. Mrs Fever says:

    To quote Raymond Chandler, I’d say you’ve succinctly “bridge[d] the chasm that lies between what a writer would like to be able to say and what he actually knows how to say.”

    If your 33 words were the opening line (pun intended) of a book, I would not put it down.

    Well done, you!

    • Wow, Mrs. Fever, I’m really honored that you said that, all of it. I’m too lazy/tired/busy to write much, but I do feel that I could write some decent mystery stuff if I don’t actually have the talent to set the world on fire. I’d be content with that.

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