Congratulations

Question:  What has 114 words, lasts about 3 minutes and 40 seconds long, tells the story of broken marriage as well as anything ever has, and, in some ways, outshines “Bridge Over Troubled Water” by the same songwriter?

Congratulations

“Congratulations

Oh seems like you’ve done it again

And I ain’t had such misery

Since I don’t know when

Oh and I don’t know when

Oh and I don’t know when.

I know there’s so many people

Slippin’ away

Many more waiting in line

In the courtrooms today

Oh, in the courtrooms today.

Love is not a game, love is not a toy,

Love’s no romance

Love’ll do you in, and love’ll wash you out

And needless to say

You won’t stand a chance

And you won’t stand a chance.

I’m hungry for learning

Won’t you answer me please

Can a man and a woman

Live together in peace

Oh live together in peace?”

—————————

Thank you, wordpress, for not honoring where I wanted to put the divisions between verses in this song I am quoting without authorization; your opinion of how it should be divided or not divided is so much more important than mine.  Thank you, thank you so much, thank you.

All rights and thanks, as well as the millions of dollars to be made off this particular blogpost alone, go to Paul Simon.  Fuck marriage, fuck romance, fuck the women that I picked.

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6 Responses to Congratulations

  1. I think I made some pretty bad picks myself. Course, I had the chance of some good ones – but they bored me or weren’t sexy enough, story of lots of people’s lives I think. Some of us are attracted to creeps – have to recognise the pattern before it gets too late! Paul Simon’s so brilliant, huh. Probably there’s a more cheerful way of looking at it but I’m not going to go into that right now, cause that would be pain-in-the-arse territory.

    • You’re preaching to the choir by talking about missing the good ones, and that they “bored me or weren’t sexy enough”–yup, that was me in my younger days, always attracted to the brightest stars, the ones that flamed out, and missing one or two that probably would have been a great person to spend my life with.

  2. Yes, they can live in peace, but getting and staying there is bloody hell.
    Love Paul Simon. Didn’t he end up with Edie Brickell in the end?

    • Actual congratulations from me to those of you who can make it work. He did end up with Edie Brickell and is still with her according to Wikipedia. He was briefly married to Carrie Fisher in the 80s and apparently dated her for several years after the divorce. I always get a kick out of those kind of relationships, like the old couples who divorce but then have dinner together every night.

      • … the couples who can share a meal, have sex, and hold each other for a while as long as they don’t have to live in the same home, make decisions together, and see their expectations convulse on the floor?

        Residual pain, combined with therapy, have given me the tools to possibly choose more wisely next time. But how do you choose when no one’s there? But I’ve always had trouble getting dates. (Turning down the obvious horror show or the one who’s looking in my direction but can’t see me at all, doesn’t count.)

        This is one of my favorite Paul Simon songs. It brings on the waterworks. He sure knows how to write the lonely song. The Boxer kills me, too.

        • That would be an odd thing, wouldn’t it? A couple that could do what you speak of. I’m thinking more of some older couples I’ve heard of, one in real life and some in books, who seem to have given up on any passion about anything long ago, and divorced after the kids were grown, but still, for whatever reason, eat supper together.
          The only thing that would ever give me any surprise in life whatsoever would be if I ever had a date again. If the earth were to split in two or an asteroid crash into us, or any smaller tragedy, or any good thing were to happen, for that matter, I would be shocked at the suddenness of it, but not surprised. But if Cupid were to shoot an arrow my way, that would surprise me greatly. So the defense of “not caring any more” serves me well now.
          Yes, The Boxer is one of his best, isn’t it?

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