A New Car and A New Girl

Sam watched Allie walk into the convenience store.  A runner, she moved with athletic ease, yet every step she took reminded him of sex.  He’d just turned thirty-three and had never been happier.

Allie looked out at Sam pumping gas.  God, she loved everything about him.  When she started to plan his birthday party, nothing else made sense except for a trip down old Route Sixty-six.

Luke also watched Allie walk away from their sparkling Audi.  He’d overheard them at the motel discussing their route.  He drove off to set up his ambush, singing tonelessly along with “Ninety-nine Luftballoons”.


(The word limits are so, well, limiting, but the Trifectra writing prompts are kinda fun–this is another one for their 33-words-each-by-3-different-characters prompt)

This entry was posted in Fiction, Music, Writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to A New Car and A New Girl

  1. Linda Vernon says:

    Compelling and well done!

    I think I like the English version the best of 99 red balloons — I’ve never heard that song before. I like it.

  2. This is good! You got a lot of action in 99 words without it becoming confusing. Plus, now I am wondering what happens next 🙂

  3. Tamyka Bell says:

    Oh! Wow! I especially like how you’ve fit the words ‘thirty-three’, ‘sixty-six’ and ‘ninety-nine’ into the three perspectives—a tantalising take on the prompt.

    • Thanks, Tamyka. Even though I wrote an earlier submission for this weekend that didn’t have the 33/66/99 theme to it, this was actually my first thought when I read their writing prompt. Luckily I had time to think about it, because I think my first idea of something involving “99 bottles of beer in the wall” wouldn’t have been all that wonderful. And I was thinking of Jesus supposedly living till 33, and I had NO idea how I was going to relate that to 99 bottles of beer in the wall.

  4. I love the 33, 66, 99. I think these lovers are about to be eighty sixed.

  5. This is clever. I especially love the 33, 66 and 99. You’ve got three brilliant little vignettes here and they all come together perfectly. And then you give us two videos as a bonus! Thanks for linking up, this was great.

  6. karen says:

    Brilliant! And I rarely play the music when I read these things — mostly because it will attract annoying children-folk — but for this I put my ear buds in. The inclusion of the numbers was, as all point out, very clever too.

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