I Love You!

Weekend Trifextra thing:

This weekend’s challenge is to give us a story or snippet of a story which includes, in exactly 33 words, a justified exclamation point.  Make us believe that your exclamation point simply needs to be in your story.  The writer with the most believable exclamation wins.

———————-

The disgraced evangelist begged for forgiveness for sinning with a prostitute.  His son-in-law sat, watching his meal ticket groveling, punctuating the old man’s every ardent plea, mouthing his own urgent I Love You!

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16 Responses to I Love You!

  1. Why do I have red hair? So I can see you better. Why are you wearing lipstick? To look nice. Why doesn’t Dad come? He’s busy. Why does the postman always..? Just Because!

  2. kgwaite says:

    Oh, tragic and sad. Nicely written.

  3. Jester Queen says:

    Oh I love the contrasts in this one, as well. The son-in-law and his trapped position feels very real here.

  4. natalie says:

    I like this because it has unanswered questions. The word “meal ticket” is the key word.

    • Thanks for reading. I have the advantage of knowing that it’s based on a real-life thing– what I thought I saw back when Jimmy Swaggart was apologizing for getting caught consorting with prostitute, and his family in the front rows kept mouthing stuff at him, which looked like I love you. I may be a little cynical, but I think they were more interested in passing on the love of his money more than “God’s forgiveness”.

  5. Nicely done! What is this writing thing you’re participating in?

    • Thanks, hon. Oh, the funny things that happen accidentally–I originally forgot the n in “hon”, and believe me when I say that’s never what I’ll think of you. But still it’s kinda funny, I think. Back to the story–it’s trifectawritingchallenge dot com, and I think they hail from blogspot. Not sure where I heard of it from, most likely the incredibly prolific Hotspur (edwardhotspur dot wordpress), or perhaps scriptor obscura (scriptorwrites dot wordpress). You don’t win anything but a warm feeling, but that’s the whole point, right? Plus it’s fun to have to weed out words. Not to mention the fact that I can’t seem to get up the ambition to get much else “on paper” these days.

      • You called me ho? Tee hee heeeee. That is rather funny. No one has ever called me ho before. Except my husband, of course.

        Now, I’ll have to go see the blogs you mention– looks like an interesting project. (Although I really, really don’t need any more good blogs or interesting projects right now…!)

  6. Thanks for linking up to this weekend’s challenge. I love the controversy here. It’s hard to get a story in, in just 33 words. But you’ve accomplished that along with justifying your exclamation. Nicely done. Hope to see you back again soon.

  7. Evelyn says:

    reminds me of the SNLpiece in the ’80’s about having “little Jimmy in his hand”. Funny. Evelyn

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