Random Thoughts From the Day After Christmas

–The tree is down, my sweetie-pie liked her Unicorn Happy Napper, we played at the playground on Christmas Eve without even wearing gloves, wind is the only possible cause of weather-related traffic accidents around here, and the only chance of anything whatsoever white and cold hitting the ground is if I get drunk, fall down, and hit my head while taking out the trash.  Tomorrow’s a work day, apparently my girlfriend forgot the way to my place, and I’m not as young and exciting as I was yesterday, but still and all…..

–I never watched the show, but I always liked the preview for “Mad About You” where Paul Reiser is watching basketball and Helen Hunt asks him who’s playing.  “Celtics”, he answers.  “It’s ‘Keltics'”, she says.  “I’m not gonna call ’em Keltics”, he states.  She asks him, “Who decides whether or not we’re gonna have sex tonight?”  To which he replies: “GO KEL-TICS!!”

–The only cool dreams I’ve had lately were the one where I asked Claude Debussy if he minded me calling him “C-Deb” in one of my posts, and on the same night, my dad claiming that he was going to drive to Montana and then Canada to see relatives.  We don’t have relatives either place, that I know of, and he doesn’t drive so much from the nursing home, him with no legs and all.  But it’s nice to dream.  No word back yet from Debussy.

Apparently this monologue from Craig Ferguson was pirated only in Italy, because all the YouTube versions of it seem to bleep out the sentence enhancing word at the end in some Italian sounding thing.

I think probably he’s right:

While I was, for some reason, looking up this Leonard Cohen song, I found a video about these guys who climb off of helicopters to repair power lines–they get onto them and crawl up the wires to do maintenance to insulators and such, and the guy says, “There’s only three things I’m afraid of: electricity, heights, and women.  And I’m married too!”

I have tried in my way to be free:

(Update: video no longer exists–you’ll have to look up “Bird on a Wire” yourself, I guess.)

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Random Thoughts From the Day After Christmas

  1. I LOVE the rant by Craig Ferguson, except that I think we’ve seen much, much worse examples than the Jonas Brothers. Glad your sweetie pie liked her Happy Napper. Cheesy and Bee both wanted Pillow Pets for their birthdays this fall (and got them). Weird fads, but harmless, I guess.

  2. All in all, my Christmas was good too, better than last year in spirit. Mercifully, I know nothing about the current crop of kids toys. Glad your Sweetie pie liked hers. 🙂

    And thanks for “Bird On a Wire” – I have an old version by Rita Coolidge on vinyl. I’ve always loved it and haven’t heard it for a long while.

    • Thanks, Sparks. I hadn’t heard her version so I tried YouTube. There was a video there (picture montage, actually) of Filipino-American vets or something, with that song as background music. A little odd use, maybe, but a nice version by her.

      “I swear by this song, and by all that I have done wrong…”

  3. Anna says:

    I loved the randomness and general festiveness of this post! And ranting is always fun.

    • Bloody good of you to ring me up. Spot-on remark about how fun ranting is; of course the trick is to not take it so far that people think you’re boring as well as daft. Then you’d be in a wee bit of trouble. These attempted “British-isms” doing anything for you?

  4. Kevin–
    (Or should I stick with TTD?)–
    I see you, blanketing the sidewalk with your whiteness, perhaps bleeding a bit, and I get worried. Dude, no drunk walking without a chaperone.
    I swear, I don’t know how to say that word. I know an educated person says “keltics” but it keeps coming out wrong.
    I’m letting my gray hairs grow. I think they are sort of pretty. I will feel virtuous about this now, when they are sparse, so don’t hold me to it.
    Leonard Cohen totally does it for me.

    • Any way you wish to address me is fine.
      I’d be more likely to fall drunkenly inside the house, while “dancing” to a favorite song. It’s not pretty. But I drink less and less as time goes on. Country song lyric: “And the hangovers hurt more than they used to…”
      I haven’t been a basketball fan since the mid-90s (games are too long, too many stoppages with time outs and free throws, don’t care who wins or loses), so I wouldn’t watch a Keltic or a Celtic game. I have a few gray hairs, but I think that it’s mostly just gradually losing all color.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s