Must share this delightful bit of spam before I start–I believe the spammers are starting to hire native English speakers with some imagination–here it is in its entirety: “CRAZY And as if that isn’t good enough my face smells like sweet butter most of the time now. My brain is absorbing every.” I thought that this line must be from a movie or something, but a search yielded no results.
Remember how, as a kid, you thought adults had it all figured out? It must not be one single “Oh crap” moment, when you grow up and realize that that just isn’t true, because I sure don’t remember it. It must evolve over years, in the the handling, or not handling, of one crisis or mini-crisis at a time.
Car’s “broke down”? Well, suddenly you get to decide if you can afford to fix it, know how to fix it yourself, can get a friend to fix it, can afford a repair shop, can afford a new one. Your parents?–providing they had “enough to get by”, would just make a call, it seemed, or go car shopping for a newer “used Galaxy 500.”
Romance “broke down” when you’re an adult? Well, if you were fool enough to fall head over heels, then, you know what, you aren’t just some sort of robot going forward, handling everything smoothly like your folks seemed to do. Yes, you go through the motions of going to work, going to the grocery store, doing your household chores, and hopefully spending time with friends. Meantime, in your head and in the pit of your gut, it feels like someone is ripping the skin off your body, one strip at a time, just like a breakup felt when you were a teenager. Thank goodness for substance abuse, video games, TV, books, internet, music……, anything that fills the time and dulls the pain. Till it happens enough times that you finally realize there is no fairy tale romance; if one seemed to come along you’d know right away it was going to be fake. I can’t imagine going the rest of my life never having a strong reaction to a book or a song, maybe a movie, but romance, no, HELL no, if that ever comes it’ll just be a thing, not some earthshaking tremor.
Somewhere along the line you finally realize that adults seemed to be so decisive because they had to, they had to call the repair shop, the doctor, the dentist, and get it done now, because it had to get done and noone else was going to do it. They didn’t want to; it just had to get done so you get it over with. Like having sex with a supermodel. Just get it over with and go back to the fun stuff.
After all, who writes most of the songs about romance gone wrong? Adults, that’s who, so we obviously don’t have romance figured out, or there’d be no great heartbreak songs. Who starts and runs most wars? That’s right–adults, except of course for some 3rd-world countries, where 8 year-olds run roadblocks with machetes and automatic rifles, and they will kill you. But mostly it’s adults. So we grownups definitely don’t have the whole “play nice with others” thing figured out.
There’s no Cinderella except in the mind of a sweet little 7 year old: