Thanks, Wikipedia, for ruining my little fantasy on this one:
Why does German chocolate frosting have coconut in it? Did the Nazis look for some “magic tiki thing” in the South Pacific and I missed the Harrison Ford movie about it? Granted, I’m Norwegian/Danish/American, and if I had to choose between free coconut cream pie for a year, or one night with Madeleine Stowe, I’d have to think about it for a while. I suppose I could buy my own pie. And I guess it’s not so odd that a lot of Scandinavian/Americans would like coconut; we like coffee, chocolate, bananas–pretty sure none of them originate from the frozen wasteland.
The reason I cite Wikipedia is that of course “German chocolate” came from an American by the last name of German. I leave it to you to look it up.
I never really cared all that much for comedian Steven Wright, but here are a couple things that I’d imagine him saying:
— “I imagine that, when people name their kittens “Snowball”, they’re hoping for them to be good kitties and good cats, because you know they wouldn’t stand a chance in hell.
— “I took my baby into the baby-changing station in the unisex bathroom at Walmart, and came out with the same baby. I mean, I love her and wouldn’t trade her for the world; I just believe in truth-in-advertising is all.”
Football announcer’s favorite sayings that I’ve had enough of:
“Works well in space” or “moves well in space”. You know, you get the average fast guy in his trained, physical prime and get him out in the open, he’s gonna gain some yards. So most running backs “move well in space”.
“Pick 6”–this one is relatively new and I frickin’ hate it–it means an interception for a (6 point) touchdown. Just say he picked it off and he’s taking it all the way back or something.
“They’re hoping to get their offense untracked” is how I hear it, and I’m pretty sure that’s what they said. I’m also pretty sure they mean “on track”, like a train moving somewhere efficiently, but they’re hired to talk, not be logicians or English majors.
“Tongue slides up inside”–well, I actually only heard this once, several years ago, and I had witnesses. My neighbor, who doesn’t care for football, and a buddy and I were having a couple beers and watching an Atlanta Falcons game, and they used to have a defender named Reggie (I think was his first name) Tongue. I would bet good money that that announcer was just waiting for Tongue to slip past a blocker in the interior of the playing field and make a tackle, so that he could use that line.
Why people that play the game shouldn’t be allowed to pronounce it: It’s “Suh-Doe-Coo”, not “Suh-Dew-Coo” or “So-Dew-Coo”, you Einsteins. How many u’s are in it and where are they? See.
All you highfalutin’ book reader nerdpaks would get a kick out of the fact that, when I was jotting down ideas for this boring-ass post, I wrote down Richard Wright instead of Steven Wright. Yup, ole Richard, making dry comments about the injustices of changing stations in bathrooms.
I’m sure I have more but my filing system is rather erratic, so I’ll have to find those scraps of paper another time. Time to put this thing to bed like the people in this insanely peppy song–not every post can be a winner: