So, this morning at about 7am, on my way to work, I got behind 2 cars with South Dakota plates, one in each of the 2 northbound lanes of the 35 mph street, which is basically the only way I can take to get to work without going in some roundabout manner. They were going several miles an hour under the speed limit (speed limits being just a “suggestion” rather than a “mandate” in my book). Now, I’m not the brightest thing first thing in the morning, and don’t usually drink my first caffeine till 9 o’clock break, because I like to let my stomach “wake up” a little first, before I throw hot coffee down it. So, I couldn’t figure out, for the life of me, why there were two South Dakota “Department of Energy” cars in my town (license plate numbers: “DE xxxx”), why they didn’t seem to have a clue, or any confidence, driving, or why the Department of Energy was the only S. Dakota department which had its own special license plate, when every other state vehicle’s license plate started with an “S”. When I finally got around the sloooooow driver of the one that had been in the passing lane for a long time, I mouthed “Get out of the way” to the driver, which hopefully they didn’t see, and definitely couldn’t hear, because all our windows were rolled up, in my car and theirs. They had been driving erratically earlier, first blinking to get in the slow lane and starting to move that way, then, when the car in front of them took the slow lane, suddenly getting back in front of me to drive slowly in the fast lane. I didn’t think any more about it till lunch time, when I fell in behind another car with South Dakota “DE xxxx” plates on it, and the light bulb clicked on that “DE” can also mean “Driver’s Education”, which would explain why the driver I had mouthed unfriendly words at earlier was such a young-looking Department of Energy worker.
To be fair, the instructor should have looked in their rearview and then told the young lady “It appears that the person coming up rapidly behind us is the owner of this road, so why don’t you quickly get out of his way,” or some such thing. I also found out later that, for some inexplicable reason, they no longer have the giant “Driver’s Education” stickers on the side or back of the cars. Still, a pride-filled moment for me.
Oh, by the way, there is no South Dakota department with the official name of “Department of Energy”.
Random thoughts 6/14/2011:
I’d enjoy Facebook more if the founder, Mark Zuckerberg, had even a glimmer of a personality. To say he has no personality is like saying that Lindsay Lohan is a “worthless, self-centered, empty nothing”. I just think if you’re the creator of the most successful social networking “thing”, of any kind, of all time, you should be as outgoing and vivacious as, say, Joan Rivers.
In sort of the same vein, I can’t take E-Harmony seriously, not just because I think that Internet dating is a freak show, but also because E-Harmony’s founder, Neil Clark Warren, is such an unsexy person. He is so unsexy, that, compared to him, Bill Gates is hotter than Brad and Angelina (supposedly) are, combined. He’s as far from sexy as Lindsay Lohan is from being useful to the human race. Someone who matches people up for a living is someone that smiles and makes people think of compatibility, yes, which he does, but he or she should also be someone that would make the average person think of the fact that some folks like to celebrate their romantic compatibility by getting WAY past first base, and I just don’t see him getting out of the batter’s box.
I see that Seal and Heidi Klump are selling their house that they have “outgrown” because it only has 6 bedrooms and 9-and-a-half bathrooms. The 6 bedrooms actually seems a little small for a rich couple, but 9 and a half baths?–are they planning on adopting more kids than Brangelina? Are they the laughing stock of the rich neighborhood? Do other soccer moms (if Heidi is one) whisper “9 and a half” behind her back? Do little kids ride past their mansion on their big wheels and jeer at the gardener: “You work for people that don’t even have TEN whole bathrooms”?
An excellent writer whose blog I read regularly, girl in the hat (http://thegirlinthehat.wordpress.com/) posted a video from the band “Cake” recently, as part of her Father’s Day story , which video then referred me to this old chestnut, still the best version ever, I think, of “I Will Survive”. (“I Will Survive” as sung by a zombie?): Thanks, Anna.