“The Official Outerwear Combination of Mullet-Wearers”

Neighbor Dave is outside, either building a dike, or preparing to lift his shed higher; I hope he’s wrong.  I’m trying to get up the energy to clean my damn bathroom; never mind trying to stave off the impending “Great Upper Midwestern Flood of 2011.”  Of course, maybe his wife is cleaning the bathrooms.  Maybe I should call her and ask if she’ll come over and clean mine.  She is one of those people who have an “infectious” laugh; it would be worth it just to hear that. 

I had to get a new hooded sweatshirt recently.  I like the zippered ones, not the pullover ones.  I mean, it’s not like I don’t already get enough static electricity pulling my hair every which way, without adding to it by pulling a sweatshirt over my head too.

Although it’s “anti-glamour,”  a hooded sweatshirt underneath a jean jacket has been my choice for at-work, or at-hunting, or at-fishing wear, probably since I was a kid.  And, although I’ve never knowingly had a mullet hairstyle, I’d have to say, from personal observation as well as TV watching, that the jean jacket/hooded sweatshirt outerwear combo is, far and away, the “Official Outerwear Combination of Mullet-Wearers Everywhere.”  I could see Billy Ray Cyrus being the spokesperson for the hooded sweatshirt brand I bought (“Sandy River”):  “Hi, folks, this is Billy Ray Cyrus here, and I’ve got an achy-breaky need to get a Sandy River hooded sweatshirt.  Sandy River sweatshirts, the official hooded sweatshirt of mullet-wearers everywhere!”

What brought this on (well, I thought of the whole spiel years ago, about mullet-wearers always wearing this jacket combination) was the fact that this sweatshirt was about half the price of a Carhartt or Dickies sweatshirt at the local farm supply store, but I did have to lube up the zipper with some teflon spray to get it to not act like it was going to stick.  It always (shouldn’t do so, but it does) amazes me that people sell stuff like that, that’s subpar.  I bought a GE cordless home phone once that seemed a touch static-y, and (I swear to God) it said in the manual, something to the effect that, you may encounter some static while using this phone.  I’m thinking, “Why build the f-ing thing???”  I guess they covered their asses:  “Oh, yeah, by the way, this product may suck.”  I’ve had other GE small items that sucked, too, and will never buy another home product from them, if I can help it.  Let’s hope their aircraft engines and nuclear reactors are built to higher standards.

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4 Responses to “The Official Outerwear Combination of Mullet-Wearers”

  1. Peter Holden says:

    I’m no fashion consultant, but I’ve always loved wearing that combination or should I say ‘ensemble’.

  2. Is very comfy, that ensemble.

  3. belle says:

    Hahaha! This post had me in tears!
    You crack me up, sir 🙂

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