Don’t Hesitate To Imitate

(Don’t blame me; I just found this on top of the fridge.  This is not me; it’s who I used to be, when I was much younger.  A few months ago, at least :) Sorry to prate.):

Did you ever notice how many pleasurable, or at least relieving, words end in “ate?”  Let’s use some in sentences, shall we?

–Wow, that felt good.  I waited too long to urinate.

–It’s nice to be home and have a private place to defecate.

–I sure hope she decides tonight’s the night we fornicate.

–I’ve been a jackass to everyone at work today.  I think tonight I’d better make time to masturbate.

–That was the best piece of pumpkin pie I ever ate.

–That was the best pussy I ever ate.

–Seems like we hit it off even better on our second date.

–I think us meeting like this was a good twist of fate.

–Sure glad that pissed-off looking bull is on the other side of this sturdy gate.

–Michelle Bachmann is someone that it’s everyone’s civic duty to hate.

–I’m really really really glad my girlfriend isn’t “late.”

–I think Alanis Morissette would make a really fine mate.

–I’ve got a craving for steak and whisky that I really need to sate.

–Do you think that it’s too late
To stay up and fornicate?
I’ve really got a lot pent up
That I’d like to emancipate.

–It’s time in our relationship to conjugate.

–Her beauty isn’t manufactured; with her it’s quite innate.

–There were 2 things my ex- was good at:  she could bitch about anything and she really knew how to fellate.

–I’d like to state
Before we date
There’s no guarantee we’ll copulate.
Though I’ll drink and laugh and flirt till late
A “hand”-y night may still be on your plate.

(Feel free to manipulate)

This entry was posted in Humor and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Don’t Hesitate To Imitate

  1. Averil Dean says:

    You made me aspirate my cuppa joe. From now on, I refuse to participate, manipulate, or ruminate on your silly wordplay.

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