Disclaimer: I have nothing against gay people. I’ve met some who are fine folks, just like most folks are. I just am not attracted to men, and don’t want to think about people that are (what I consider) unattractive, ever having sex. I don’t want to think about Madonna having sex, because I think she’s a bit scary. I don’t want to think about Rosie O’Donnell having gay or straight sex, because I don’t consider her attractive. So I only use the term “gay” for a laugh. Whoever you are in life, laugh at yourself or else don’t bother getting out of bed.
Enough of that boring shit:
If I were president, no one except the military would be allowed to wear berets. Police officers would be authorized to stop anyone who wears one and remove them, in a peaceful manner. Anyone who complained about this would have the right to have a caricature artist, hired by the police, draw them a sketch showing how completely idiotic they look in a beret. The berets would be collected in one location and boxed up every few months. The boxes would be labelled “Gay French stuff” and shipped to France, where they look more appropriate on people.
If I were pres., all toilet paper in public places would be required to be upgraded to the status of at least fine-grade sandpaper rather than the rough-grade we are all used to. The upgrade would be paid for out of Bill Gates’ pocket, as partial repayment for his awful, clunky, overpriced software we all have been subjected to over the years.
If I were pres., no one would be allowed to say ”The New York football Giants”. The New York baseball Giants moved to San Francisco over 50 years ago, so the footballers are the only NY Giants.
Thanks for listening.